A New Day Has Dawned

Boy am I tired this morning. I didn't sleep well at all last night.

Feeling bright today though. :-) I have a dr. appointment at 1:30pm to the GYN specialist as a follow up to my surgury I just had. Have had a lot of "female" type issues over the years so I'm trying to get things taken care of (feel free to see my other blog www.notmyonlyexistence.blogspot.com for more information on that).

I'm not feeling hungry right now, but should I feel hungry before I go to the store I'm going to have 2 egg whites, using I can't believe it's not butter spray. I may stop for a coffee as well...skim milk of course!...well, hopefully. This is the compulsion issue I have with food. I have great intentions, but can never seem to follow through. It's weird because it's almost like a "blackout" type of feeling after I have any type of binge. The other day I had a huge lunch and then when I got home I took the boys to get ice cream. Next thing I know I'm pulling out of tacobell with a 7 layer burrito.

Because of incidents like that, I've decided I'm going to start attending OA, Overeaters Anonymous. My mom is an alcoholic and attended AA for quite some time. It's scarey because I see a lot of my food behaviors are the same as a lot of her alcohol behaviors. For example, there's the hiding part of it. This is really hard for me to talk about. When I have company, I do a really good job at pretending I eat really well and I just can't understand why I have a weight issue. I'll actually go out and buy really healthy things to put into my fridge and pantry when I'm expecting company. If, god forbid, company takes me out to a meal at a restaurant I force myself to just pick at it, or not finish a huge plate when I really want to.